Why you gotta be so ... scared?

It's funny when people say things to me like, "I don't know how you do it" and "you're so brave," and "I could never do what you do."  (traveling solo) 

Why is that funny? Because I'm the biggest scaredy cat and worrier on the planet. I worry about EVERYTHING. 

I don't think people realize (except for the ones who are close to me and hear this from me on a daily basis) just how freaked out I can get about traveling. Most of the fears are completely unrealistic. Some of them are realistic, but taken to the extreme... 

For this upcoming Asia trip, for example, I have already worried about getting through customs, getting detained in China, getting deathly sick from food/drink, etc. Currently I'm having anxiety about earthquakes, volcanoes, plane crashes, and radiation in Japan. Go ahead and laugh because some of it is completely ridiculous, but I was reading articles that talked about earthquakes and eruptions before the year 2016... which means they WOULD HAVE TO HAPPEN THIS YEAR IF THE THEORIES ARE CORRECT. (Especially with the latest that's going on in Nepal, I think I'm even more paranoid) 

So why do I do this to myself? If I know that I'm prone to worry and have anxiety over this stuff, why do I do it?  

Because I have to move forward.  

I want to travel. I want to see the world. And I can't do that sitting at home. 

I have proof time and time again...that every time I fear something, I come out at the other end feeling more confident and an overwhelming sense of being glad that I did it. It reminds me of the quote from The Circle Maker, "The older you get, the more faith you should have because you've experienced God's faithfulness. And it is God's faithfulness that increases our faith and enlarges our dreams."

I don't think fear is necessarily a bad thing...If I didn't have a single ounce of fear when I traveled around to different places, I think there would be something wrong with me. But fear can't overwhelm and dictate my life. 

#IKnowHowThisStoryEnds #ThankYouGod

Walt Disney World reflection

This has nothing to do with travel, but this is my blog and I can write about whatever I want to write about because I live in this amazing country! (Thank you, USA!)

I've never been a huge fan of Disney World... probably because I'm more into FTT (fast, tall, thrill) than imaginative fantasy worlds.

In 2011 my grandpa told people that he'd like to go back to Disney World again... and so in early 2012 we made that happen. My mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, their two friends, and my two cousins and myself all went to Disney. That was our last family vacation.

My grandpa died later that year... and I am so beyond grateful that we got to go as a family to Disney World one last time. Of course, at the time, I was greedy and selfish and didn't want to be there because I would have rather been jumping off of things.

We got to surprise them at their home down in Florida...and I can still see my grandpa's face and hear his laughter when he saw us walking into church.

There was something special about my grandpa. He was one of the most kind hearted people on the planet... and his love for my cousins and I was from a real deep place that you could sense and feel from miles away. Heck, he's the only one in our family that would proudly wear a sweatshirt with our faces on it! (Kidding, but seriously)

Maybe it's because my grandma is struggling so much right now that I'm feeling melancholy and remorseful and missing those days when we were all together... but I would do anything to go back to Disney World with all of them. (I would even pick that over an adventure trip!)

I'm still amazed that we had that opportunity to make that last trip, all of us, before he died. I'm thanking God for that. 

My grandparents got to spend the trip with their friends as well... which was super nice in hindsight. To their friends, it ended up being one of their last happy memories with my grandparents.

It's amazing how much has changed since then... it simply crushes my heart. (there have been good things too... like the addition of Janet and Beth!)

But this one is for my grandparents. I love them and miss them both so much.

Thank you, Disney, for being our final trip together. <3